Let’s get real for a minute: everywhere you look, you’ll find a man who believes—truly believes—he’s unlike anyone else to ever walk this earth.
There’s nothing more predictable than a guy announcing, “I’m not like other men!” with all the pride of someone who just invented fire.
It’s a curious and exhausting type of performative individualism that most women are beyond familiar with.
The fact that men think they’re unique, when so often their behaviors and attitudes are copy-paste, is one of the fundamental absurdities of modern gender dynamics.
As I see it, this myth has been allowed to persist not because there’s evidence behind it—but because society has been engineered for centuries to gaslight women into congratulating men for simply existing.
The “Special Snowflake” Syndrome
I can’t count the number of times I’ve watched men in my professional life, social scenes, and even dating apps present their quirks as revolutionary.
Suddenly, a guy who likes vintage punk bands or drinks craft coffee decides he’s a unicorn.
Really, dude?
The fact that so many men think they’re unique is more about ego than reality—it’s tied to their upbringing, media consumption, and the persistent pat on the head that men get for the most minimal displays of difference.
The truth is stark: what passes as “individuality” for men is rarely radical or rare, just slightly left-of-center in a sea of sameness.
Men’s Sameness Versus Women’s Authenticity
Let’s talk about how the world encourages men to assume they’re special just for the basic act of standing out in a small way, while women have to be groundbreaking simply to get noticed.
When men think they’re unique, society nods approvingly; when women are authentic, society scrutinizes, questions, and often punishes us.
It’s not just a harmless delusion—it’s a feature baked into the social contract, designed to keep men self-assured and the rest of us jumping through ever-shifting hoops.
The Workplace—A Rinse and Repeat Parade
Nowhere is this myth clearer than in the workplace.
Every office has that man who rolls in late with a slightly off-beat tie and an “innovative” idea he stole from a TED Talk.
He announces, with the all-too-familiar smugness of someone who has never been underappreciated, that his perspective is fresh and singular.
There’s something so exhausting about the way men think they’re unique at work.
When in reality their ideas loop in a circle, echoing every other white-collar man who ever mistook confidence for genius.
In Relationships—Seeing Through the “Not Like Other Guys” Routine
Dating offers no escape from this phenomenon.
Every time a man tells me, “I’m not like those other guys,” I hear, “I’m absolutely like those other guys, but I think you won’t notice.”
It’s staged. It’s repetitive.
The only thing “unique” about most men who use this phrase is how identical their delivery is.
The line is a classic move—a way to gain favor, set up emotional dominos for women to knock down, and extract validation.
But honestly, when men think they’re unique in romance, women are usually miles ahead, scanning for the telltale signs.
The almost identical playlists, the “deep” questions lifted off Reddit, and the overused trope of calling themselves feminists while simultaneously diminishing women’s lived experiences.
How Men’s Predictability is Camouflaged as “Charm”
Look around next time you’re at a gathering: the men trading nearly identical stories about their hobbies, their travels, their college football teams.
Yet in each voice is the subtle hum of someone convinced that this telling is especially worthy.
There is something wildly frustrating about the way men think they’re unique simply because they add a detail to an overplayed story.
The cycle is laughable.
Media and Male Individuality—Manufactured, Sold, and Consumed
When we look at the media, the situation gets even worse.
Every movie, commercial, and social trend pedals this idea that every man is a complex protagonist, misunderstood and exceptional, while women are supporting acts.
The whole “every guy’s a special snowflake” narrative is just branding.
It’s designed for men to think they’re unique, because that idea keeps them engaged, buying, and on top of social hierarchies.
The truth?
There are only a handful of male archetypes, being endlessly repackaged in new clothes.
Seeing this pattern makes it blatantly obvious how rare authentic male individuality actually is.
Why Does It Matter? The Harm in Letting Men Think They’re Unique
You might wonder—what’s the real harm here?
Why not let men think they’re unique, harmlessly deluded as they may be?
The answer is layered, but crucial. When men think they’re unique, it perpetuates a culture where their voices are amplified at the expense of others, under the guise of “fresh perspectives.”
It fuels mansplaining, enables mediocre cis men to ascend to leadership positions, and silences women, Black and Brown folks, and LGBTQIA2S+ people who actually have new things to say.
It’s not simply annoying; it’s a tool of oppression, keeping power in the same entitled hands under the glittering cloak of “individuality.”
The Link to Male Fragility and Entitlement
If you read my piece on why his offended ego isn’t my problem anymore, you’ve probably noticed the direct link between the myth of uniqueness and male fragility.
When men think they’re unique, the flip side is a fragile ego that cannot withstand critique.
Calling out their sameness or mediocrity is treated as a grave insult, leading to everything from pouting to outright rage.
There’s a reason so many men have epic meltdowns when rejected or contradicted.
The myth of uniqueness bolsters this emotion—if you’re special, no one should ever say you’re not enough.
The Intersection with Race and Queerness
It would be a mistake to pretend that this narrative is only about gender.
The idea that straight, cisgender men are unique is so deeply entwined with racism and Queerphobia, you can’t untangle one from the other.
BLM has taught us to question the structures that keep some people at the center while pushing others to the margins.
LGBTQIA2S+ folks have been told for generations to erase our differences, while men freely embrace sameness as something exceptional.
When Black men or queer folks express individuality, it gets pathologized or punished, when straight men do it, it’s praised as genius.
The Social Cost of Humoring the Myth
Too many women spend years of their lives entertaining men’s belief in their uniqueness, carefully navigating fragile egos and emotional labor.
Why do we bother?
Because we were told since birth that this is the tradeoff for acceptance, love, and career success.
But when men think they’re unique, all we really get is more emotional exhaustion and a society where everyone loses except men at the top of the pyramid.
There’s freedom in disrupting this charade.
The second I stopped clapping for men’s most basic behaviors—see my take on not applauding mediocre male efforts.
I found space for my full self, unbowed and unafraid of ruffled feathers.
Men Think They’re Unique—But Women Have the Power to Change the Script
At the end of the day, women are the ultimate pattern-recognizers. We see the repetitions, the recycled “deep” questions, the posturing.
The fact that so many men think they’re unique isn’t our problem to fix, but it is our opportunity to refuse to play along.
We can challenge the myth in small ways and big ones-by calling out the sameness, by supporting each other’s true individuality, and by refusing to hand out trophies for the same tired tricks.
When men think they’re unique, it means nothing unless we agree to play along, and I’m done pretending surprise when the act is this well-rehearsed.
Laughing at the Myth—A Powerful, Satisfying Tool
Sometimes what we need most is to let ourselves laugh.
There’s something incredibly healing and galvanizing about pointing out just how much men think they’re unique, and just how predictable they actually are.
Making space for humor—especially the sharp, sisterly laughter that doesn’t pull punches—is a radical move.
Laughter disarms the patriarchal charade, exposes its lazy plot twists, and returns our time and attention to ourselves and our communities.
Together, laughter is not just survival—it’s rebellion.
Every time women gather, roll our eyes in recognition, and share a knowing grin about how men think they’re unique, we are taking back narrative power.
We are refusing to be the audience for another boring one-man show.
Men Think They’re Unique—But Women Refuse the Audience Role
There is a striking, electric freedom in declining to perform admiration when men think they’re unique.
What if, instead of offering applause, we redirected our attention toward building spaces where actual uniqueness is championed—where women, queer people, Black and Brown folks, and people living outside rigid gender roles can be heard in all our multifaceted glory?
Refusing to be the captive audience to men’s sameness is a radical act that starves the cycle of ego-feeding.
Every moment we don’t validate mediocrity is a win for collective authenticity.
Why “Normal” Is Radical—Especially for Women
Here’s the thing that gets under-discussed, for women, simply being ourselves—unfiltered, messy, unperformed—remains the most radical act of all.
The world overwhelms us with imperatives to be exceptional, to compete, to prove, to accommodate.
But when men think they’re unique and demand a standing ovation for their most basic quirks, we are reminded how the bar remains at ankle-height for them and skyscraper-tall for us.
It’s time to disrupt the expectation that women must be dazzling while men are celebrated for “normal.”
Naming Sameness Where We See It
A vital component of social change is being willing to name patterns as we see them, even and especially when we’re told not to.
When men think they’re unique, they rely on a conspiracy of silence—on our politeness, our laughter, our willingness to let another dimly-lit story dominate the night.
Let’s flip this: the more we name it, the less power it has. Next time you encounter one of those routine “not like other men” declarations, reflect on your freedom not to play along.
What Do We Owe Them? Absolutely Nothing
Here’s the freeing truth, we owe men nothing for thinking they’re unique. We don’t owe them soft laughter, forced applause, or performative wonder.
Women’s time and energy are precious, and we’re allowed to spend it where actual originality, mutual support, and justice dwell.
There’s a fresh sort of liberation in seeing the sameness, naming it, and then turning toward people and projects that expand possibility.
My post “Why Women Don’t Owe Men an Applause for Basic Decency” spells this out in depth—because believe me, the world will keep expecting your gratitude for mediocrity unless you refuse it.
The Uplifting Power of Sisterhood
Ultimately, the greatest antidote to the myth that men think they’re unique is found in building powerful, shameless, radically honest sisterhoods.
The more we talk, share, and compare notes, the more undeniably obvious men’s sameness becomes.
It’s why misogyny tries so hard to keep us apart—because collective recognition is powerful. When we gather, the old scripts lose their grip.
We stop being the silent audience and become the authors. Community reminds us that there is nothing wrong with seeing patterns—it’s women’s superpower.
If you’re ever doubting your own perceptions, drop by my posts that lovingly mock these patterns, like Public Displays of Male Insecurity.
Women Tell All or Sassy Replies for Men Who Assume They’re the Boss.
Sometimes, it’s the shared laughter, the texted meme, or the quick commiserating comment that helps you hold onto clarity in a world invested in your confusion.
It’s Time for New Stories
So here we are, standing at the crossroads of reality and rehearsed self-delusion.
Men think they’re unique because centuries of patriarchy have trained them to see themselves that way.
But every day, more of us are choosing to step off the script—to look boredom in the face, to break the silence, to spend our emotional energy elsewhere.
We get to choose new stories now. We get to build new communities, ones where the sameness is a punchline and real individuality—a fearless authenticity—is what gets the standing ovation.
Let this be an invitation: stop pretending amazement, start recognizing patterns, and save your awe for those who earn it.
If the world tells women that our sameness is a flaw and their sameness is special, it’s only because we’re the real threat to the status quo.
And nothing scares mediocrity more than women who are finally, unmistakably, wide awake to the con.
Share Your Stories, Support This Space
Did you ever notice a man who thinks he’s unique, but you saw straight through it?
Have any funny or frustrating stories about men repeating the same lines, behaviors, or so-called “original” ideas? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
This is a place for real talk, laughter, and mutual understanding—we learn more when we share.
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Thank you so much for reading!
(And don’t forget, if you want to keep laughing at these tired scripts, my post on The Unintentional Comedy of Men’s Expert Opinions is always open for you!)